A rough draft of my holiday plans

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I talked to my grandmother today and I actually told her how I felt about the upcoming holidays. I told her that I just didn't want to do anything that has to do with my mom. I love the woman to death, but I don't want to go down to try enjoy time with them and get asked every ten minutes "Where is your brother?" I hate to quote Cain, but I am not my brother's keeper. Not in any shape, form, or fashion. To be quite honest, as bull-headed and idiotic as he has been lately, I really like it better when I don't know where he is or what is he up to. Ignorance is bliss.
This is besides the point. I don't want to be hounded about Joe (that is his name), so I told my grandmother right out that I just wasn't going to Mom's. She thought that I meant for Thanksgiving, but I told her that no I meant Christmas. She wasn't too happy... I even went further and said that I was slowly losing my mental sanity and that I need to treat the holidays as just regular days or I might lose it. I am really, REALLY scared that I will lose it and snap. I don't want anyone to have to be the blunt of it. Who knows what might happen?
So, the plans right now stand that I am going to do the usual Tues/Wed thing and then on Thursday, for lunch, my grandparents are treating my brother, my aunt, my uncle, and myself to dinner at a cafe, Mimi's. After that, the rest of the day is up to me to do with as I wish. I will probably go and see if someone is available to hang out. If not, then I will probably come home and catch up on some sleep or reading or something...
As for Christmas, probably what will happen is I will work Christmas Eve until 6:30p or so. I will come home, probably to an empty house since my grandparents go to my great-grandmother's house every Christmas Eve. I will probably get on here and fool around for a while or play some video game until I feel drowsy enough to go to sleep. I will wake-up on Christmas Day, open the presents that my family has for me, and that will be the end of it. The holidays will be gone and I can move onto the next chapter of life. That sounds evil and vile, but that is how I am going to do it. Otherwise... there might be consequences...
Right now, that is the outline that exists. It may change, it may get better, who knows? I still have some hope that someone will come along and make it worth while for me... I might meet them before this season is over, or maybe next year will start my new look on it. Who knows? Either way, I am going to go. I need to get some rest before tomorrow begins... Much love to all.

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